"Why Not Me?"

Typically, Christians--and others--tend to ask the all-consuming question, "Why me?", when their circumstances become more difficult than what they think they should be.  We have been told, for years, it is perfectly fine to ask God, "Why me?".  Was there a time, in history, where asking God, "Why me?" was taboo?  I do not believe any question we might ask God is ever off-limits.  He already knows our thoughts so asking Him is no different from thinking it. 

You have searched me, Lord and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar. 

You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Psalm 139:1-6 

The words David chose to describe our LORD's relationship to him and to us--knows, perceives, discerns these things about us, you are familiar with all my ways--can be so reassuring and intimate.  On the other hand, for some, this might be unnerving if they are not living in a right relationship with their LORD.  But for me, this is comforting, as I realize that God knows all these things about me and yet...He still loves me!  That's unconditional love, 1 Corinthians 13 love, agape love! God is all-knowing and He not only knows our thoughts, our ways, our words, before we think, say or do them, but He knows--intimately--our frustrations, disappointments, and even our pain.

 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,
Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses,
but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and
find grace to help us in our time of need. 
Hebrews 4:14-16

Honestly, in my opinion, "Why Me?" reveals a self-focused, self-absorbed, self-righteous attitude, or a victim mentality, if you will.  This is where the vast majority of us live, every day.  Some how we have been convinced that we have certain rights and we deserve a certain level of comfort and a life of ease.  Yes, our Declaration of Independence states we do have certain rights, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These rights are more focused on the physical.  This focus on our physical pleasure, robs us of our ability to live abundant lives, spiritually-rich, full lives, which God has promised.  God's view of our rights tend to be more spiritually focused and based, instead of physically and/or temporal. But do not be deceived, the spiritual influences the physical, as well.

Abundant life, right now; we don't have to wait until we get to Heaven.  Abundant life, in the midst of the difficult circumstances. Abundant life, full and overflowing, in the midst of pain and suffering.  Hard to grasp...huh?

 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
John 10:10

It is not an accident that God chose to contrast the "thief", Satan, and what he does, with Himself and what He does.  Steal, kill, destroy vs. life, more abundantly!  Again, this abundant life, is for the here and now...not just the sweet by-and-by.

 What does God really say about our rights...to a life of comfort and ease?

1 Corinthians 6:19-20a
You should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who is in you. You have received the Holy Spirit from God. So you do not belong to yourselves, because you were bought by God for a price.

Luke 9:24
^"Those who want to save their lives will give up true life. But those who give up their lives for me will have true life."

Matthew 5:11 
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."

He tells us on multiple occasions, we will suffer in this life.  Why, then, are we so quick to demand "our rights" to a life of ease, as a believer?

^{I want to change my mindset from one of a victim to one of a victor!} 

"Why Not Me?" reveals a life that recognizes this is no longer my life, but it is His...24/7/365 or 366! It is completely surrendered to my LORD...even when it hurts.  This attitude is an empowering attitude and grants the believer the ability to bask in the knowledge that our God loves us, and that His love for us will not take us where His strength cannot keep us.  

The Bible is vividly clear on this teaching, so why do we so often allow the Enemy to deceive us into thinking the exact opposite?   

This was the same strategy Satan used in the garden of Eden with Eve and it is the same strategy he uses on you and me, today, IF we let him.

 
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”  The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”  “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  Genesis 3:1-4

First comes the Deceiver's strategy...and God tells us straight out,"he is more crafty than any of the wild animals"...to plant doubt about what God really said (Genesis 2:6,7). "Did God really say?" Then Satan misquotes what God said by including all the trees in the garden as being off limits for food.  This caused Eve to add to what she knew God had said, originally, "you must not touch it".  God never told them 'not to touch' the tree, only not to eat of it.  Satan's response, "You will not certainly die" to Eve's addition planted another seed of doubt in Eve's mind and gave him the foothold he needed for the planting of the victim-seed; the only reason God told you this is to prevent you from being like Him, knowing good and evil.  God is withholding this knowledge from you, which is your right to know.  You are...a victim!

A 'Why not me?' mindset grants the believer a different perspective on their current circumstances.  Instead of feeling like God is against them or Satan is working overtime, it gives a freedom to develop God's perspective on their circumstances.  When we can grasp that all of life's circumstances are truly His grace, then we view our circumstances as opportunities to draw closer to our Heavenly Father, trusting Him more and more.  This is part of the process whereby we are growing into His likeness. 

Jesus never succumbed to a victim mentality.  Oh, He struggled with the temporal physical (death on the cross) and the emotional (separation from God when He became sin for us) sufferings of His life, but He never demanded His rights and He certainly could have, especially, since He was and is equal with God. 

However, if we do not know the promises God has made us, we cannot quote them back to Satan accurately when he tries to plant those seeds of doubt.  You can be assured he will do his best to secure a stronghold in our lives by causing doubts and by trying to make us believe we are a victim and not a victor.   By 'renewing our minds', as Paul exhorts us to do in Romans 12:2, we can develop a mindset that is the same as Christ's himself.  

Asking "Why not me?", when life's circumstances become challenging, will help us be ready to receive all God has planned for us, even in the hard times. 

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments 

and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.  2 Corinthians 10:3-6.

 

How It All Started!

I am republishing this post from New Year's Eve 2011, "How It All Started", new name since the original one is no longer accepted by Blogger, go figure, in anticipation of the 5-year anniversary of God's call on March 18, 2008.  This was the original blog post and I am sure you wish all my blog posts were this short-and-sweet!  

Well, as you can see I am a terrible blogger. I could promise that 2012 will be different...but since my life continues to be so full without blogging, I doubt that promise would have much impact on my changing my ways in the new year. As many people have told me over the past three years, "You should be writing all of this down!", I have wondered if blogging could become my journal of sorts for some of the things God has been teaching me on this new adventure He has called me to. Sometimes I call this new adventure a roller coaster ride where I find myself hanging on for dear life.

I have never journal-ed, so it would certainly be a challenge for me to begin now (at almost 53 years of age) and no doubt a challenge for your eyes and mind, should you decide to follow my blog posts. But since I find myself alone in the pre-dawn at my mother-in-laws on this last day of 2011, I will at least post a final blog for this eventful year.  

I think for this post I will take you back prior to March 18, 2008. The four year anniversary of that life-changing moment will be here soon. That is the day God broke into my world and said to me, "I want you to coordinate the adoption of deaf orphans in the world." Nothing has caused me more shock than His words created that morning. Shock that I heard His voice and shock of what He was telling me to do. I was driving to class at Gardner-Webb University (GWU) in Boiling Springs, NC that morning, just as I had done for the past 5+ years. I had been making that trek from Asheville to the GWU campus since the fall of 2003. It is a 70 mile trip...one way.

Following the Lord's leading, I returned to college at the age of 41 in the fall of 2000. My husband, Charles, was in full support (emotionally and financially) of me doing so. Since our youngest, Joseph, was still in middle school, I chose not to be a full-time student, which meant my two year associate's degree in American Sign Language Interpreting became a three year degree. I do not want to mislead you, I was not one of His "instantly" obedient children in this...returning to college. I had refused to follow His nudging me to go back to school for two years stating that I was too busy doing what He had already asked me to do. Don't misunderstand me, I was fully following the Lord on a day-to-day basis; asking Him to lead me each day, to work through me, to be honored by my life. And I was exactly where I believe He had placed me...wife, mom, Bible Study Fellowship discussion leader, Asheville Christian Academy (ACA) Land Search Committee member , Mission's Committee member at my church, etc. You get the idea. Anyway--after two years, amazingly, two of the most time consuming duties came to an end. God did not remove them, mind you, but in the spring of 2000 I completed the 7-year BSF program and ACA purchased land. In late fall of 1999, through my BSF study questions, God made it evident...one more time...that He wanted me to go back to school and become a "certified" interpreter. Little did I know what that really meant or what it would lead to next.

Well, as the sun comes up this morning this household is waking up to New Year's Eve. Only God knows the plans He has for each of us in the year 2012. We will see when I get back to this continuing saga....so stay tuned!This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place.  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:10-13

Adoption & Orphan Care! It Is Not One or The Other, But Both!

"Coordinate the adoption of deaf orphans in the world!"  What DID He mean?

Part 2 of...

After God called me to "coordinate the adoption of deaf orphans in the world", in March 2008, He made sure I was exposed to the larger world of orphan care and not just adoption.  It is much harder to miss the atrocities of abuse, violence, oppression, and exploitation that takes place in the orphan crisis arena, then it is in the adoption arena.  However, the similarities are all too often similar.

Signs for Hope board members, the Penlands, adopt 2 deaf children from China!
November 2012

In a very short time, 4 years, I have watched the world of orphan care and adoption evolve. That evolution includes the "how", "what", "when", "where" and "why" of doing it.  Our doing has rarely matched what really is truly needed nor answered the greatest need of long-term life change and self-sufficiency...empowerment!

The most impressive orphan empowerment program, which I have seen with my own eyes, is the model God gave a Rwandan woman, named Epiphanie.  ZOE Ministry supports this model in multiple African countries and I am in awe of how this program is empowering thousands of orphans for self-sufficiency in under three years! Phenomenal!

Epiphanie with one of the many ZOE orphan groups in Rwanda!

Enabling those in poverty, by the Christian world, is one of the reasons I was so ready for the book, "When Helping Hurts", when Joseph recommended it to me Christmas break of 2009.  I was so disillusioned by how little life-change there was when someone "helped" another in need.  I watched this viscous cycle in the local community surrounding my church and in the local Deaf community, for years.  This was easy to see in multiple poverty-stricken countries around the world, as well.  Most often our helping does nothing more than make us feel good and perpetuate a mind-set of poverty and continued low or no self-worth.  A hand-out is rarely a hand-up! Trying to break that cycle is not easily defined and not a quick-fix, nor is it for the faint of heart.

This is one way God prepared me for recognizing that Signs for Hope was not only to be involved in the traditional adoption of deaf orphans, but some how helping care for and empowering the thousands of deaf orphans and children that will never be adopted or cared for by others.  The numbers of deaf orphans/children suffering greatly in this world are staggering and while SFH cannot help them all, we can begin helping one-by-one, starting with the deaf children/orphans in Liberia, West Africa.

God would not allow me to overlook this much larger population of deaf children in need, those that will never be adopted.  Signs for Hope calls this part of our ministry Heart Adoption (monthly sponsorship).  The monies are spread throughout ALL the children.  However the personal relationship you develop with your monthly sponsored, Heart Adopted, child through daily prayer and your sending small hand-carried packets a couple of times during the year is life-changing, for them and for you.

While most large monthly sponsorship organizations are focusing on children, still in a family, and mostly at risk of not being able to receive an ongoing formal education (or Christian education), the SFH Heart Adoption program is providing the basic needs of life; food (two meals per day), shelter, fuel for cooking, and funds for basic medical needs.  Sometimes funds from the Heart Adoption ministry also go to pay teacher stipends at the Deaf school.  But, for the most part, daily survival is still top priority in Liberia.  Email me for a list of over 25 deaf children who still need sponsors in Liberia.

Heart Adoption...somebody loves me!

At the Oscar & Viola Stewart School for the Deaf, located just outside the capital city of Monrovia, most of the deaf children have some family, but the communication gap added to the stigma of their not being able to speak (or hear) is too much for family members to overcome.  Deaf children are considered a punishment or curse by God and many are discarded as refuse or exploited for personal pleasure and/or gain.

Yes, there is some education, for these deaf children, mainly because developing African nations, as do all others, place education in such high priority.  I am learning more and more that orphans and more specifically deaf orphans/children are in much greater need of learning a trade or a skill than they are of spelling, history and English.  And their need for training in agriculture and basic business management is more vital, than say, Recitation.  Giving them language, sign/manual language, is paramount even before the above can be implemented.  Deaf children as old as 15 come to the Deaf school and still have no language, no way of communicating.  Try to imagine this...if you can.

While the above realizations are beneficial, trying to tailor them to the deaf children will be more challenging given the vast language barrier between them and the majority hearing world which most often exploits them for their own profit.  This barrier will not just magically go away, but it will be a life-long challenge. 

Deaf children are the least of the least, around the world.  Evil people can take disgraceful advantage of them without any fear their evil deeds will ever be told.  The percentage of abuse, of many kinds,  toward deaf children is far greater that that of hearing children, in America, and around the world.  I will expound on this in-justice in a future post.

While some orphan care organizations are helping implement, encourage, and educate indigenous foster families (within their own countries) to rise up and care for their own orphans or children that have been abandoned, around the world, the fact remains that rarely are there foster families willing to foster deaf children.  Again, the communication gap and stigma between hearing and deaf is much too great.  And many times the deaf children are never granted the opportunity to even learn a sign language and are forced to live lives of utter frustration trying desperately to communicate what is stuck inside.

Fact:  In America, today, it is estimated that only 10% of hearing parents learn to sign with their deaf children.  That is in the year 2013...here...in America.  Let that sink in for a moment.

What is the answer for all these deaf children who are precious in His sight?  I don't know, yet, but He does.

Raising awareness that deaf people are equal to their hearing peers, in developing countries, in their villages and their governments, is one place to start.  In fact, God is opening this door for Signs for Hope during our February 2013 Mission Trip to Liberia (February 12th - March 1st).  A team of hearing, Deaf, ASL signers and ASL interpreters will be sharing this truth, as well as, the gospel in sign during the ACFI (African Christians Fellowship International) annual conference. 

Over the past 4 years, God also made sure our son, Joseph, shared the ugly truths surrounding orphans and child-trafficking through recommending books, movies, and the like to help give me a more realistic perspective.  Slum Dog Millionaire (R), just happened to come out in 2008.  Joseph repeatedly told me I had to see it, even though he knew the initial impact it would have on me.  Blood Diamond was another movie Joseph said I should see, warning me of the horrific atrocities it portrayed. The book "Half the Sky", released in June 2009 was another.  These, and others, are how God is preparing me for His work, "Coordinating the adoption of Deaf orphans in the world!"

Shell Casings lining the streets during Liberia's civil wars!

While preparing for my trip to Liberia in 2010, I came across some "documentaries" about the civil wars in Liberia on Youtube.  These were filled with the mind-scarring atrocities and evil that took place in Liberia during their civil wars and after. Pictures and stories I will never forget, though I wish I could. Others recommended Kay Warren's book, "Dangerous Surrender" (thanks Beth Carr).  Reading her book was like reading about my own life as it was unfolding; God's opening my blinded eyes to see a hurting and suffering world of humanity all around me and wondering where do I fit in His plan for impacting these precious human souls God loves, had died for and now lives for.  

Maybe this will give you better insight into why this ministry, Signs for Hope, is not only involved in the adoption of deaf children into a loving family, but equally involved with the caring for deaf children who will probably never be adopted.  The word "adoption", for me and Signs for Hope, has grown to have multiple meanings:  1)  Traditional adoption of a deaf child into a family  2)  Heart adoption (monthly sponsorship) of a deaf child that will probably never be adopted traditionally 3) The most important adoption of all for each of us...His adoption into His, one and only, forever family. 

****Our Deaf pastor and his wife, Phillip and Elaine Easterling, as well as one of our ASL interpreters, Heather Farmer, are still raising their funds for the Liberia trip.  You can partner with them for this trip by clicking on the donate button on this blog.  If you prefer mailing a check, please make it to Signs for Hope and mail to PO Box 460, Fairview, NC  28730.  Your gifts are tax deductible.

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Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts, and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act.  Proverbs 24:12

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 
Romans 8:14-17

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 
Ephesians 1:4-6

Adoption Approved...Mine & Yours!

Adoptive parents, are some of my biggest heroes!

I am so humbled by what they sacrifice because of their obedience to follow Christ, no matter what, often not knowing the full ramifications of those sacrifices until much later, after the adoption is approved, when those new daughters/sons, sisters/brothers are brought home.  The adoption process, alone, with its mountains of paperwork, delays, frustrations, and on and on (an emotional roller-coaster for most) is only Chapter One in a multi-inch-thick novel entitled, "Adoption:  The Lifelong Journey!".  

This is the Luebke Family!  Some of my hero's! 
Read about their adoption journey. www.whenyouriseup.blogspot.com

I know that obedience is far greater than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22), but this is not choosing one over the other.  This is choosing obedience which, in turn, causes sacrifice at great cost, sometimes.  I am not saying this is a bad thing, because I know God desires to redeem those sacrifices for His good, for developing character, a much deeper dependence on Him and ultimately for becoming like Christ. But I am saying this is a challenge adoptive parents are not fully prepared for, especially when it suddenly impacts their precious biological children so drastically.  Realistically, how can they be, fully prepared that is, when suddenly they see their precious little ones' sweet, endearing, personalities change right before their very eyes.  You guessed it, rarely is that change a positive one.  Sometimes, behavior changes are not those observed as aggression toward a particular family member, but instead a withdrawal into themselves.  Each child is as different and unique as their coping mechanisms are.  However, if you probe deeper, I am sure most parents would reluctantly say they have seen glimpses of this behavior leaking out previously, but certainly not to this extent. 

Sin...it knows no boundaries, this side of Heaven.  We are all more keenly aware of that fact as it reared it's ugly head in CT, yesterday.  All babies are born into sin, except Jesus, of course.  We do not have to teach them to do wrong, but we do have to teach, train, coax, and sometimes bribe them to do right.  Adoption will certainly bring out the sin in all of us. The reason?  I believe it is, partly, because it is such a clear picture of God the Father's adoption of each of us through the blood of Jesus, His Son (Ephesians 1:4-5).  Redemption has always been...from the ugly! The question is, what will we do with that ugliness each time it re-appears?

I am speaking more specifically about the effect adoption has on the biological children/siblings (especially younger ones) in families and then, in turn, the mental, emotional and even spiritual anguish that has on the parents as they watch what they knew and cherished before as "their family" be completely turned upside-down and disintegrate into oblivion, never  to return to what it was previously.  Not surprising is the parents sudden doubt about their decision to adopt, one they KNEW, 'beyond a shadow of a doubt', to be from God before it caused such trauma for their bio sons or daughters.

Much like any other obedience we offer Christ, the consequences (good and bad)--and yes, I am speaking of the consequences of our obedience--often are not fully realized until after the following through of the obedience.  I think we should look deeper and longer at that word obedience, especially as it relates to adoption.  Obedience is an ongoing action, not a one-time deal and it's done.  This is much the same as we should define the word faith.  Both words represent a continual action or ongoing process that is required. 

I realized all this before, but this week it has made a much deeper impact on me.  Sacrifices, due to obedience, are not only personal for mom and dad, but involves sacrifices that the vast majority of biological children are forced to make when God calls the family to adopt.  Forced in the fact they are not given an option, but instead told, "We are adopting!" Basically the same thing that happens when mom becomes pregnant with the next child. "Guess what, Johnny!  You are going to be a big brother!"

However, birthing or adopting an infant into a family with older siblings is much different than adopting a toddler or older child. It is now Game-Day and each competes, with great skill mind you, for lap-time, nap-time, snack-time, play-time, bath-time, potty-time, mommy-time, daddy-time, and even night-time. 

I am convinced adoptive parents, especially those with young biological children, should receive grief counseling in their pre-adoptive training required hours.  The death of their pre-adoption family unit is one that will surely be grieved, but must be done guilt-free.  

I recommend both of these books for those
experiencing grief of many kinds.

God is not surprised by the changes and challenges adoption will cause these precious biological children and their parents.  In fact, He delights in using them.  He intimately knows each one of us and each one of those biological siblings.  He knows what we need in order to develop in us the Christ-like characteristics He so desires us to share with others.  And He knows what each biological child needs to help them attain their full spiritual maturity so they can successfully accomplish all those works He has prepared in advance for them to do, in the future (Ephesians 2:10).  The other half of that equation, though...what will be Johnny's response?  How can mom and dad help Johnny's response be one which benefits him and the family as a whole, in the end? 

This is also true for families with only biological children/siblings.  God designs families, through birth and adoption, through loss and grief, through every circumstance and situation He allows.  His design is for every family member to reach their fullest and greatest potential while holding tightly to His outstretched hand and eyes firmly fixed on Him.

I do know families, where adoption and/or fostering have scarred family members for life and they still do not see any good that has come from their obedience to follow God's leading them to adopt and/or foster children from the hard places.  In the past, resources for families like these have been almost non-existent, but not today!  Today, research and resources are multiplying and families are sharing these new found new-life-breathing tools with those they come in contact with them via the information highways.  Thank God!

One thing to note, attachment issues are not only for those adopted and fostered children you bring home, but they can also affect bio-child to parent relationships and the mom or dad to adoptive-child relationships and bio-sibling to adopted-sibling relationships.  Therapy and counseling for these attachment issues, also common in adoptive families, is now available in most areas of the country.

We find ourselves in the midst of a season where we are granted the opportunity to focus, once again, on just how much one single life can impact, not only their one family, but the entire world and even turn it upside-down.

Born to Die!

The birth of Jesus Christ! No one life, death and resurrection has impacted the masses, as His!  Jesus Christ...our very own adoption approval, by God Himself, for Him, God-Almighty, to become our Father, our Abba, our Daddy!  

ADOPTION APPROVED! 

But wait!  This is only Chapter One in a multi-inch-thick, never-ending, novel entitled, "His Adoption:  The Eternal Journey!"  

 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ,
in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace,
which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins,
in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.
With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,  

to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things 

in heaven and on earth under Christ.  

Ephesians 1:3-10

Orphan Care & Adoption! It Is Not One Or The Other, But Both!

This is part 1 of, at least, 2.

"Coordinate the adoption of deaf orphans in the world!"  What did He really mean?

In the beginning, one thing I questioned God about, more than once, was why would He choose me for this task when I did not have a positive view of adoption and/or foster care?  Charles and I never adopted and never fostered children.  We did not ever feel God leading us in that direction.  But we did have multiple friends, through the years, who experienced heart wrenching situations because they adopted or provided foster-parenting.  These situations were not just cause for temporary heart-ache that came and went, but they were and are life-altering ones that will never be forgotten and have forever impacted our friends lives.

Now I know. He knew that I would not sugar-coat this thing called adoption to the families that He sent my way; I had seen both sides of adoption.  He knew it would take my seeing families ripped apart, with my own eyes.  These were my friends, the parents, who had simply opened their all-consuming loving hearts to those who had known no love, assuming they would be overjoyed to have someone finally love them--when in reality, they could not be.

For many years, the adoption world was filled with stories of only 'happily ever after endings'.  For the most part you only heard the negative ones if your life some how personally touched those that were secretly dying inside and trying desperately to maintain some semblance of sanity because of the noble act of adoption and/or fostering.  Resources for these families in desperate need were non-existent and they were forced to deal privately with the guilt of their failure, falsely believing the lie that their love for their adopted/fostered child(ren) was just not strong enough.

Today, multiple resources are now available for these families and the self-quilt is beginning to be balanced with the knowledge of how great neglect and lack of nurture affect children adopted and fostered from the hard places.  This does not take into account for those who have been abused in others ways, especially sexually.  In addition, the Internet, blogs, and Facebook have opened up the truths on the other end of the spectrum of adoption, children who have been so scarred by their past that they cannot receive their adoptive/foster parents love and the reality of human-trafficking of children as it really does relate to adoption is made more easily accessible.

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Resources:

Tapestry Ministry of Irving Bible Church


Empowered to Connect

How Do Christians Fit Christ In Christmas?

Re-posting this blog post from last year and adding the sentiments of Rachel and Joseph, now ages 25 and 29 respectively.  Both are thankful we did not do "Santa Claus" and our Christmas gift giving was and is minimal.  Christmas is not about giving or getting gifts, but about giving of ourselves to each other.

The only difference between the majority of American Christians and the rest of the population--in their Christmas traditions--is their addition of celebrating the birthday of Jesus, for a few moments on Christmas Day and attending their churches' special Christmas concerts or dramas. 

After Charles and I were married, before children came along, we decided we would NOT include Santa Claus as one of our Lloyd Family Christmas traditions.  My well-to-do family had lavished my sister and I with extravagant Christmases lauding Santa as the most incredible gift-giver of all.  Santa easily took the place of God, in our lives, growing up.  My parents were avid church-goers and God was a part of our lives, albeit a very small part, as relating to Christmas and throughout the year.  Charles' family, on the other hand, were nominal in their focus on Santa and kept Christ the center of their Christmas traditions.  

When Rachel and Joseph grew older our decision did bring with it some challenges as we had to train our children not to reveal the "precious secret" to their classmates at school or to their cousins. We simply told them each family made decisions for how they would celebrate Christmas and explained why we had decided not to 'follow the crowd' on this one.  This was not the only decision we made where we had to explain why we did something this way while other families, yes Christian, did it that way.

I never will forget the time Joseph asked me why our family was different from other Christian families.  It was the last day of school, just before Christmas break, when he was 13.  His question caught me off guard.  I did ask him for clarification, but his was a simple answer and I no longer remember it.  I proceeded to explain to he and Rachel--she was in the car with us--that their daddy and I tried to make decisions based on the love Jesus Christ has shown us.  "We are so very thankful for His sacrificing His life for us, that we want to show Him our appreciation by living lives that we believe are pleasing to Him.  While that is our goal, we still make mistakes...but, ultimately that is our motive for the decisions we make."  I have no idea if this was a sufficient answer for him or not, but I have never had him ask that question again. 

After becoming a follower of Christ, at the age of 14, my perspective on my family's money and their lifestyle began to change and my innate desire to get more and more began to wane, as Christ became my central focus.  I wish I could say that I always made wise financial decisions, over the years, but that just is not true.  However, things, for me, have lost their priority and the quest for deeper relationships has taken over.  Yes, on occasion, I do regress to allowing my "want-er" to kick-in, but it isn't long until the Holy Spirit reminds me of my much needed refocusing and a clear realization that,  "I really don't need ____ and it would probably do nothing more than collect dust or get stained".

Please do not misunderstand me and think we did not give gifts at Christmas, because we did and we do.  But, to keep from succumbing to the added pressures of shopping only during the Christmas season, I bought our children's "Christmas" all throughout the year.  Typically, I would be finished with my Christmas shopping by October every year, taking advantage of sales all year long instead of having to fight the temptation to impulse-buy amidst the BLING of Christmas from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. Now the Christmas BLING starts just after Halloween (this year, 2013, it started with back to school sales).  I would often buy Rachel and Joseph things they needed, like socks, underwear, shoes, and place those under the tree, in addition to a few toys and books.  Since Charles and I never felt the need (oh, we felt it, but resisted) to have the newest and best, when it became available, our children never expected to receive the newest and best at Christmas or any other time of the year. 

I wish I could tell you that our family has done some incredible self-less acts of kindness during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons, through the years, but we really have not.  I hear incredible stories of how families give-up their Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day to serve those less fortunate, but we have never done that...not yet, anyway.   

As I listened to Christian radio this week, during their prayer time, I was struck by a prayer request that was shared.  "Please pray for our family as my husband has been laid-off and we do not want our children to suffer without Christmas presents this year."  Why is it Christian parents feel so much pressure and place so much value on the presents?  I have copied part of an article and a chart below **** forecasting what the average family will spend on Christmas gifts this year. Keep in mind this does not include money spent on decorations or for food. 

I know these are cliche', but when has there ever been a more appropriate time in our lives to be more concerned about His presence and not the presents?  Are we just "fitting" Christ in our Christmas traditions or is He, truly, our reason for the season?

It is not too late to change your focus...mom and dad, grandmom and granddad.  One friend has already informed me, this year, their family is making a change--to break the American tradition from getting to giving.  Their children are older, high-school-age and under, but they all agree it is time for a change. 

Let me encourage you to not make drastic changes, but instead deliberate changes.  Change is best received when it is wrapped in a process.  And remember God is always focused on the process.  The process of getting us from here, right now, to that ultimate goal of becoming more like Christ to the world around us.  He is in our every moment, every day and He wants us to take notice of that fact.

Christ is our ultimate example for how we should give.   His everyday life was given for others and through His death He has given us life, abundant life!  Not just salvation and eternal life, life abundant...for today!  We do not give to earn His love or approval, but we give out of a heart full of gratitude for all that He has done for us and all that He is doing and all He will do.  Our acts of service--our giving--and our obedience let Jesus know that sacrificing His life for us was not in vain.   His gifts---keep on giving!  Will yours and mine? 

Here is a link with multiple scriptures related to Our Giving.

***According to the American Research Group, Inc. website: 

2012 Christmas Gift Spending Plans Return to Pre-Recession Levels

Shoppers around the country say they are planning to spend an average of $854 for gifts this holiday season, up from $646 last year according to the twenty-seventh annual survey on holiday spending from the American Research Group, Inc.

In telephone interviews with a random sample of 1,100 adults nationwide conducted November 11 through 14, 2012, the average planned spending of $854 for 2012 is up over 32% from average planned spending in the 2011 survey and the planned spending matches planned spending of $859 in 2007. 

Year	Average Spending	Percent Change
2012	$854	+ 32%
2011	$646	- 2%
2010	$658	+ 58%
2009	$417	- 3%
2008	$431	- 50%
2007	$859	- 5%
2006	$907	- 4%
2005	$942	- 6%
2004	$1,004	+ 3%
2003	$976	- 6%
2002	$1,037	-1%

Miracles of Life-Change! Only Him!

 

Witness to 3 miracles of life-change in less than a month!  He has taken my breath, again! I have never seen this, with my own eyes, before!  I have prayed numerous times for God to do a miraculous work to bring life-change.  I have heard stories years after, but never experienced it while it was happening so drastically before me.  I am humbled beyond belief as I have seen God's Holy Spirit break through years of pain and suffering into hearts that were hard, calloused, unresponsive, and stone cold; thought to never be penetrable, with loved ones devastated, lying in a pile of emotional debris, and having no hope of ever seeing any change or improvement.

Twice, it has been with grown men causing a tornado of destruction to all members of their families because of their own self-absorption, self-satisfaction, and self-righteousness.  They were completely oblivious to the damage they have caused until, UNTIL, the Spirit removed the scales from their eyes. No, I do not understand the ways of my God, nor His timing for causing blinded eyes to suddenly see.  But what I do know, what I have seen and heard is these men are each completely broken as they, for the first time in years beyond a decade for each of them, suddenly realize the pain and suffering they have caused those they truly love the most. Who was that man that did all that?...is the question that now plagues them, possibly, for the rest of their lives. 

While the third miracle holds some differences, to be sure, and much has still to be written because of the horrific trauma buried from the past, for this little one so loved by God, the blessing of watching God do only what He can do is more than humbling and almost to the point of overwhelm.  There are no words to describe it.  Tears flow from my eyes, freely, as I am faced with seeing GOD IN THE FLESH living and moving in these three...transformed lives!

This race is far from over.  The finish line has not been crossed, for any of the three or their loved ones.  Much repair is still required and breaths are being held because of the great fear of their possible regress.   

Can it be?  Is this really true?  Will this really last?  Who is this person; I/we have never seen this side of him before?  One cries uncontrollably and his shoulders quake up and down because of what he has done?  He is genuinely remorseful for the intense pain and suffering he has caused me/us; one more deeply than an another.  What will tomorrow be like? What does this mean for me?  What is my responsibility, now?  Do I dare let him back in?  Do I dare to love him, again?

The answer I have shared with the wife and the ex-wife of the two men was...WAIT!  Let God show you.  And, "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ".  The rampage of thoughts that whirl around these ladies' minds is exhausting.  Seek Him so He can give you the right response, whatever that is. They both want to be God's response to the father's of their children.  Miracles, too!  But it still hurts, like a burn, that seemly is never allowed to heal as the wounds are intentionally scraped over and over again, which ultimately leaves heavy scaring.

What will God ask them to do in response to these miracles of life-change they have been chosen to witness and experience?  Will it hurt, again?  For sure.  But, only He knows how much and only He can give them what they need to respond His way...with His response. 

I can't help but think how God's heart is scraped and scared by my own sin against Him...day after day.   And yet, His love for me never waivers.  I cannot comprehend this kind of love.  My mind will not allow it.  This, too, is a MIRACLE!

We do not serve a God who does not know and does not understand and does not empathize with our deepest needs.  We serve a God who is intimately aware of each of our needs and He is the ONLY answer for each of them for each of us.  He does not ask us to walk this road alone, instead He walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death.  Strategically around us, He provides those we need to lock arms with and kneel down with, so we can all be...His response.  

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"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete."  2 Corinthians 10:4 - 6.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.  Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  Hebrew 4: 14 -16.