What My Eyes Have Seen! Part 1 of...

IS SIGN LANGUAGE THE NATURAL LANGUAGE OF THE DEAF CHILD?

This blog series, What My Eyes Have Seen!, will be an ongoing series in an effort to share what my life's journey has revealed to me through my research, experiences and exposures to the Deaf community, locally and around the world over the past 15+ years.  While the Deaf community in other countries do share many similarities to all others, there are also, at times, some major differences because of the majority culture surrounding them.

Many who read this post and others to follow, will not be able to understand my perspective, simply because they have not walked the path I have walked.  They have not chatted with the Deaf folks I have chatted with.  They have not chatted with the hearing parents of Deaf children and adults I have chatted with.  They have not chatted with Deaf educators I have chatted with.  They have not chatted with the ASL educational interpreters I have chatted with; nor have they observed deaf children for many hours within many different family environments.  And they have not researched time and again, the many topics weaving their perspectives surrounding the Deaf community, as well. 

Do not be mistaken, I am a hearing person and always have been.  I am simply conveying my own personal experiences for these blog posts, in an effort to broaden and deepen the knowledge of those members of our hearing world as it pertains to the Deaf community and especially that of the deaf child. By far, the best way for a hearing person to learn about the Deaf community is to immerse themselves into the Deaf community by befriending Deaf folks and learning American Sign Language. We have much to learn from them. 

I will be the first to admit that my perspective has not yet attained perfection, as research always continues to unfold and I will be forever learning, but my current  perspective comes with years of experiencing the above and thus far it is what it is...because of What My Eyes Have Seen.

The first topic I would like to share about encompasses the question,

Is sign language the natural language of the deaf child?

This remains one of the most debated questions by so many and so many times by those without full knowledge of the topic allowing for inaccurate debate. 

In an effort to help our understanding grow deeper, let's dig a little deeper before I address this question, directly.

So what does "natural" mean?  According to Merriam-Webster:

Natural

: existing in nature and not made or caused by people
: coming from nature

: not having any extra substances or chemicals added
: not containing anything artificial

: usual or expected

Research of many sign or manual (visual/gestural/on the body) languages around the world, points to the natural development of each.  Most utilizing gestures and space, in the beginning, to get a point across in order for Deaf folks to converse with one another within their own groups, naturally occurring over time. 

As some sign languages continued to evolve from this initial foundational phase, they began to influence others especially during the Modern "Colonial Era" (1500 - 1900) by western European countries as they spread out over the world.  In addition, the signed languages and/or sign systems missionaries took with them to other countries have also impacted the cultures, as well as, the development of some countries' signed languages. This is a fascinating topic for another post. 

"World 1898 empires colonies territory". Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:World_1898_empires_colonies_territory.png#/media/File:World_1898_empires_colonies_territory.png

No doubt, ASL's strongest roots come from France, but be assured Native American Indians and those living on Martha's Vineyard, year's ago, as well as, home signs developed by deaf children being raised by hearing parents have also shared their influence.  We often, mistakenly, limit our thinking of sign language to only American Sign Language. 

The use of signed languages dates much farther back than America. There is documentation of sign language being utilized as far back as 5th century BC.  There are currently hundreds of different recognized sign languages around the globe and others that have yet to be discovered.

Deafness has been noted as an "ailment to be treated" since 1550 BC.  Deafness occurs in every culture on the planet.

God, Himself, mentions deafness, much earlier, in Exodus 4:11 when speaking to Moses, " The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?"
In addition, the wordless form of entertainment called pantomime--or mime for short--dates back to 800BC.  One must wonder if the observance of those who could communicate through signs, but not speak, lead to this form of entertainment and communication by hearing performers.

And do not forget, in Luke chapter 1, where Zechariah learns very quickly he must use signs to communicate to others after his ability to speak (it does not say he could not hear) was removed following his doubt of the angels' prophecy concerning the future birth of his son, John (the Baptizer). 

Now, just because a deaf child is born into a hearing family--and this is true more than 95% of the time--this does not mean the hearing family automatically begins to use gestures and mime to communicate with them.  In fact, the opposite is most often true and the deaf child will often be the instigator of "teaching" home signs to their hearing family members in an effort to get their needs and wants met.

For years, I have used the phrase "NO language" when describing deaf children and deaf adults (yes, I said deaf adults) in this world who have not yet been exposed to any formal signed language.  However, I was challenged by a ministry friend just this week as we chatted about deaf children and their natural language learning via "visual language" even prior to exposure to or training in a formal sign language. 

She matter-of-factually responded to my dismay and delight of the quick Vietnamese Sign Language (VSL) acquisition of the deaf children, ages 8 - 14, I had visited with last month with, "Well, of course they did!".  After only 6 months of formal training in VSL these deaf children were easily communicating with each other, their hearing teacher and even hearing foreigners using VSL and gesture. Naturally, some were more adept than others, but all were communicating remarkably well for just 6 months of formal exposure to VSL. 

Even after I reiterated to her they had NO language prior to the VSL exposure this past November, she quickly countered, "Maybe no formal language, but they did have visual language learning from birth.  Light bulb...ON!!! This has been a reconfirmation for me that the learning of a manual language (sign language) IS the natural language for the deaf child.  Their visual world has been evolving since birth, actually even in utero, and needless to say when granted the opportunity to be trained in a formal visual language their already visually thinking brains are more than primed for it.
Deaf children ARE exposed to "visual language learning" from birth, if they are not both deaf and blind when born; just as hearing children being taught sign language reproduce those signs, with full comprehension, long before they can verbally speak them. 

 
Of course, training a deaf child in a visual sign language IS natural, as they already have a strong foundation for visual language learning since birth.  This realization, for me, supersedes my previous thinking that many deaf children have "NO LANGUAGE", but rather they have no"formal language" training, yet. 

Visual language is not a new concept.  Visual thinking is also not a new concept.  ASL interpreters covet the skill that visual thinking grants them for interpreting English into ASL. 

While information that is only visually received by our brains may be limited, at times, visual language and visual thinking are occurring and evolving from the moment a child is born, deaf or hearing.  That visual information is being received by the brain and impacting the brain in its development, making it "ready" for the learning of a formal sign language, in my opinion, even beyond the optimal age for learning a spoken language.


I believe this is one reason it is much easier for even a hearing baby to learn to mimic signs they see for expressing their wants/needs before they are able to verbally do so. 

My conclusion...

Deaf children really are not totally language deprived, ever, since they use their visual sense to absorb everything around them in their silent, but fully visual world.  Hence, learning a formal sign language becomes the natural progression for learning language for the deaf child and that gives them the foundation needed for learning to read and write English as their 2nd language. 

SFH Matching Grant for the Pruyn Family & Their Deaf Adoption

God places the lonely in families.  Psalm 68:6a

We are the Pruyn family and super excited to be in the process of adopting a deaf toddler from the Dominican Republic. My name is Jessica, but everyone calls me Jessie. Well almost everyone...my mother hasn't gotten used to that one. I grew up on a small rural west Tennessee farm, learning to love God and the outdoors!

I currently work as an educational interpreter and have done everything from freelance to Sorenson Video Relay Service, although interpreting isn't really my cup of tea. Alas, I do have to say at the end of the day, I love my job! The amazing thing is how I just fell into the Deaf world from my small rural lifestyle, but that is another story for another day. The important part is that through our local Deaf Church I met the love of my life!

Brice is a native California boy through and through. Growing up in the bay area, the ocean is literally his second home. An alumnus of the California School for the Deaf, Fremont this boy stole my heart when his dad brought him to our church picnic. We became best friends and the rest, they say, is history.

Adoption has always been something very close to our hearts. My mom, uncle, and three siblings are all adopted so it was no surprise when Brice and I began our courtship in 2009; adoption was one of the many topics we discussed. We both knew that we wanted to adopt one day, but always thought it would be later down the road. In 2012, we welcomed our beautiful biological baby girl into our home and life has been an adventure ever since. Never did we dream that being parents would, could be so amazing! Soon after, we began once again talking about adoption. God slowly began opening doors during the summer of 2013 and we began inquiring about adoption from various agencies and friends for future reference. We asked a few questions, figured out what we would need to get our house in order (a large addition to meet the minimum square footage requirements) and just tucked it away as something we would do later and went ahead with our own family plans. Little did we know that He would be leading us in this direction quite so quickly!

It was spring of 2014, shortly after our second miscarriage that we were contacted about this
specific child. When the agency told us of the requirements per the Dominican Republic, the 5-year marriage requirement, 6 months living in-country, and $40k we both prayed and agreed to take it one day at a time. The first step was to see if we could get the time off from work for the 6 months required for us to stay in the country. Brice asked his company where he works as a floater for a factory—he is a machinist/welder—and was assured he could take a leave of absence for that length of time. We called the adoption agency and told them we would press onward. We both agreed that God had opened this door and we were just going to trust Him to make it happen!

We could NOT deny the clear leading of God to this specific country. It has been over a year, now. We have worked almost non-stop on our house and finally this May right before our 5th wedding anniversary we finished our home study! We are now officially married 5 years and in the dossier process! God has provided every step right as we have needed it and we are trusting that He will continue!
 

Prayers as we move forward, please! The long in-country stay is going to be very taxing on us as we try to rent out our home, cover our bills both here and in-country and deal with lost wages. Please pray that all these needs will be met in the coming months as we continue to prepare! 

Signs for Hope has offered the Pruyn family a $750 matching grant. For every dollar that is donated to their adoption fund, up to $750, SFH will match it. The full amount of support will be at least $1,500. If God touches your heart to go beyond praying for the Pruyn family in this adoption of their deaf toddler from the Dominican Republic you can make a donation on the Signs for Hope website here.  Or mail a check to Signs for Hope, PO Box 460, Fairview, NC 28730. All donations are tax deductible. 

ENCASED IN GRACE - Beth Moore

God revealed to me an online Bible study series, in October of 2014, that I believe has the potential to grant you and me the greatest opportunity to live the "abundant life" here on this earth God has promised and so desires for us to experience, fully.  I shared this originally with 40 brothers and sisters, via email, last fall, and now God has reminded me of this study, yet again.  I am sharing it here in hopes God will allow many the access to these truths through this simple blogpost.  Below is the original email I shared last October.

 

 

The truths Beth Moore shares in this 7-part short video series, "Encased in Grace", pinpoint what I believe to be our greatest challenge to truly living and embracing a life of true freedom in Christ through His grace, every moment of every day.  Each part has it's own link below for ease of access. 

God has easily convicted me of areas where I am guilty (areas of sin) after watching the first three video clips (by the way the subtitles for these videos are near perfect) and I am sure He will continue to reveal additional improper thinking that prevents me from embracing 100% of His grace 100% of the time through the next 4. 

I want you to understand, I am not a "lover" of Beth Moore (I love her in Christ, alone), so this is not just a promo for her, but I am a "lover" of God's truth and I believe God's truths proclaimed in these videos are profound and life-changing for me and for you, for today! 

These truths are not new to me, but I have never heard them presented in such a way, with such relevance and timeliness, that have caused me to reevaluate my own life and thinking to such a deeper level.  This is exactly how the Enemy delights in preventing us from experiencing God's abundant life, whereby He can reflect His light through us to each other and to a lost and dying world.  I have said this for years and I know it is the title of a book and I am convinced it is true, "The Battle is in the Mind!" 'Taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ' is our greatest challenge and yet it is our greatest defense.  But only IF we know/embrace/experience the Son's truth, can it truly set us free!

I pray these truths are not what we simply agree with, but we actually and actively allow God to change/renew our minds with them, so that we live a life that shows we are dearly loved by God (Eph 5:1-2) all the time, not just when we are what we would call "good".  And when we know and live like we are dearly loved by God, then we can truly dearly love others and...that HOPE does not disappoint!

For ease in finding each part (only about 15 mins each) of Encased in Grace on the Life Today website:

Part 1- http://lifetoday.org/video/encased-in-grace-part-1/ 
Begin at minute 2:13 and ends 17:12

Part 2 - http://lifetoday.org/video/encased-in-grace-part-2/ 
Begin at minute 3:11 and ends 15:51

Part 3 - http://lifetoday.org/video/encased-in-grace-part-3/ 
Begin at minute 2:05 and ends 17:18

Part 4 - http://lifetoday.org/video/encased-in-grace-part-4/ 
Begin at minute 2:13 and ends 17:13

Part 5 - http://lifetoday.org/video/encased-in-grace-part-5/ 
Begin at minute 1:35 and ends 17:42

Part 6 - http://lifetoday.org/video/encased-in-grace-part-6/
Begin at minute 1:27 and ends 18:36

Part 7 - http://lifetoday.org/video/encased-in-grace-part-7-2/ 
Begin at minute 2:35 and ends 17:46

This is not just for women, but it is for all of us, brothers and sisters. If these truths impact you to change, share these videos with others, please. 

I am praying you and I will allow God to embrace us with a love that we cannot understand, so that we can in turn love others with that same kind of God-love!  We can only love others because He first loved us. His love for you and for me must be our motivation for everything we do! 

Our Greatest Faith Builder of All, Parenting - Part 1 of...

This is the first post of a new series for the Signs-4-Hope blog.  I have no idea how many posts there will be in this new series, Our Greatest Faith Builder of All, Parenting.  Therefore, it will be labeled which part it is with the mark of ... after it, to designate another one will be coming, just like the ongoing So, You Want to Adopt a Deaf Child? series.  This new series will cover topics in relation to the training I have received throughout 2014 and early 2015, via TBRI (Trust-based Relational Interventions, Texas Christian University) and NCBP (National Center for Biblical Parenting) and the 30 years of training I continue receiving as a parent of two biological adult children and their spouses.  No, my husband Charles, and I do not have any adopted children, as God never called us to adopt. However, He did loan us two biological children to raise for His glory and that has been and is, by far, the greatest faith building opportunity I have experienced as a follower of Christ.  My prayer is this series will help parents of adopted and birthed children recognize that in order for us to raise up children to love and follow Christ we must be and must live that example before them, with authenticity and transparency.  Our failures and our weaknesses as parents, God can use and will use, IF we allow Him the opportunity to do so.

Anger is a God-given emotion! 

My interpreting experiences, over the past several months, have placed me in two counseling groups in our community.  One is "Anger Management" and the other "Depression and Anxiety".  I have observed, first-hand, many of the things I have been learning over the past 9 months in my TBRI (Trust-based Relational Interventions) class through Texas Christian University.  The overlap between these is really not surprising, but fascinating for me all the same.

Most of these adult folks, men and women, who for the most part, "look normal on the outside" have endured much trauma during their childhood years.  Their stories are all too familiar to the stories of the deaf children Signs for Hope loves and serves which include emotional, psychological, physical and sexual abuses. These traumas are in addition to lack of nurture, neglect and abandonment. Things no child, no human being, should have to endure, but the result of the sin of mankind via Adam and Eve.  God has allowed me to see, with my own eyes, in these counseling sessions, the consequences of childhood trauma which grows into adulthood trauma, with adult consequences, when left without any interventions.  These folks are often uncontrollably violent and some have taken the lives of others when they launch into their emotional tornadoes which engulf others as they tear down their path of destruction.  Others are daily haunted from within by depression and/or anxieties.  Once again, the tell-tale marks of emotions out of control (fight, flight and/or freeze) and centered in the trauma-brain...the amygdala.  Only, now, that trauma-brain resides in the body of an adult.

So often you and I quickly notice anger in those around us that we love, but how often do we miss it when you and I react in anger ourselves?  How often is it our own anger triggers  an anger-reaction from the ones we love which escalates to a level beyond what it should? 

Anger is not a sin, it is a God-given emotion.  The Bible tells us to be angry and sin not (Ephesians 4:26).  Jesus, Himself, was angry when He saw His Father's house being used for monetary gain and not for prayer and worship, its designed purpose.  However, His response to that anger, turning over the tables of the money-changers,  was not one of sin. Needless to say, I am sure those in the temple, knew without a doubt Jesus was angry and could have done much more than He did. I believe this is one of the greatest examples of meekness in the Scriptures. Meekness is not weakness, but rather it is great power under control.  Jesus could have easily destroyed everyone in the temple courts with a simple exhale. He is omnipotent God.  Think about it.  If Jesus had destroyed them, He would have been justified, but would His justified actions be perceived as being self-controlled or would they have been perceived as being out-of-control? Which made the greater impact for eternity? They had seen His miracles with their own eyes.  I believe His anger, under control, cut to their hearts and convicted them of their wrong-doing. It did not trigger an anger-response back at Him, but instead one of complete conviction of their sin and shame for what they were doing. 

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27

Let's face it, you and I, all too easily, can instantly react in anger given the right circumstances.  We are emotional beings, as God has created us to be, however emotions left uncontrolled can become our demise and can bring with it collateral damage to those around us, those we love.  These are not responses of God's Spirit who is living within us, but rather human reactions that are uncontrolled and have been "triggered" by something.  How does this happen so quickly and unexpectedly?  Afterwards, we might think, "Where did that come from?" Or maybe, "Did I really say or do that?". 

"For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, His Spirit fills us with power, love, and self control." (2 Timothy 1:7 TEV)


Becoming MINDFUL of those things that trigger our own reactions to anger is of great benefit, granting us the ability to have self-controlled anger-responses. However, if we never stop long enough to notice or become mindful of what our anger-triggers are, we will continue reacting to them instead of allowing God's Spirit to help us control our responses to them.  If you and I cannot become self-controlled with the help of the Spirit of God, how can we expect those around us, those who live with us, to do so?   

 

What triggers your anger?

Unfortunately, it is all too often those we love the most, or at least those we spend the most time with, are whose behaviors seem to irritate us the most.  These irritations can easily build up, if they are not dealt with in a timely manner, and turn into a trigger for an outburst of our anger...which most often...is not without sin and its consequences.

However, recognizing our "triggers" which can lead to outbursts of uncontrollable anger give us the chance to "catch them" prior to them snowballing out of control and thus granting us the opportunity to bring them under control. If not recognized, this is when the amygdala sabotages our ability to think rationally and fight, flight and/or freeze becomes our default setting. This is a basic strategy that those in the anger management groups are taught.  This is also a basic strategy of the TBRI training for parents and their adopted/fostered children.  Withdrawing, if at all possible, from this volatile environment that is primed for failure, is the first step in controlling an unwanted anger reaction.  Calming techniques can also be employed to help control the amygdala's natural response to that first twinge of feeling threatened.

This is not something you and I can truly accomplish apart from the Spirit of God.  Being self-controlled is a fruit of the Spirit. 
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Galatians 5:22-23.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20

Below are a few great resources for helping us learn more about God's design for anger and for tools in helping us learn how to resolve our uncontrolled anger problems and then help our children do the same, together.

What Does the Bible Say About Anger?
Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids

The National Center for Biblical Parenting

 

So You Want to Adopt a Deaf Child? Part 12 of...

This ongoing blog series, "So You Want to Adopt a Deaf Child?" is written primarily for hearing families contemplating the adoption of a deaf child.  Yes, they will benefit others, as well.  Many of these topics are ones that other families wish they had known prior to proceeding with the adoption of their deaf child.  This is number 12 in the series.
Note:  There are many embedded links in this blog post.  For more details and resources click the underlined words to go to the additional websites for additional information.
 

So there is no doubt, Signs for Hope believes it is the right of every deaf child, around the world, to be given the opportunity to learn a manual language, a visual on the hands and body language, hence the name "Signs" for Hope and to become fluent in that language.  In addition, we also believe in providing whatever tools are necessary to help ensure the best possible outcomes for them to also learn their everyday written and read language.  These two things will not only improve their lives, in ways we may never be able to comprehend fully, it will also give them access to experience God's indescribable love for them.  


IEPs...Individualized Education Programs

 
"No one told me I would have to become a full-time advocate for my adopted deaf child surrounding their educational needs.  Now, I am responsible to educate those educating my adopted deaf child, so he can be granted the best possible educational experience throughout his academic years."

Many classroom experiences for all adopted children are challenging for the child, their parents, their teachers and their child's' classmates. Add deafness to that and little to no access to language-learning prior to the child's adoption and the challenges easily multiply.

If you are contemplating adopting a child with deafness and you know nothing about the educational rights of a child with special needs, and more importantly the rights and needs relating to the child with deafness, please do not proceed with your plans to adopt, until you do.

IEPs, IDEA, ADA, Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, what do they all mean?  How will they impact the life of your deaf child and those who educate them? 

Myth:  "The laws are in place, I can trust my child's teacher and educational support staff to know what is best and provide for the unique needs of my adopted deaf child." 

Sadly, most public school educators are clueless when it comes to knowing how to meet the educational needs of an internationally adopted child, let alone an adopted child with deafness with minimal exposure to language, if any. Deaf schools, often, are as unprepared for the behavior challenges, emotional and social delays, as well as, language delays of the adopted deaf child, just as much as the public school.  Numerous books and articles have been written about such things, for the hearing adopted child, but a teacher is rarely, if ever, confronted with these challenges until they suddenly have a new student assigned to their classroom, for the first time. That could be your recently adopted child...with deafness. 

Keep in mind, in the elementary years, your deaf child will have a new teacher each year.  While you will become more skilled in advocating for the unique needs of your deaf child, as you begin to learn what those needs are, over the years, your child's new teachers each year, rarely do. Starting at the beginning is not an uncommon requirement, each year, for parent advocates.

The goal is for the deaf child to learn how to self-advocate for themselves, but it will take many years of training for that skill to develop appropriately and will remain challenging throughout their years of academia.
Allow me to put aside education for a moment and just focus on language learning.  The paragraph below, taken from the article, entitled "Language and the Older Adopted Child: Understanding Second Language Learning" by Dr. Sharon Glennen, helps us understand the realistic process a hearing child faces when simply learning a new spoken language following his/her international adoption and when no one around them now speaks their first language.  By the way, this is referred to as second language learning, not bi-lingualism, as the child's first language dwindles to nothing very quickly when no one else speaks to them in their first spoken language and their first language is not being used to teach them their second language.  


"Consider these facts: the typical six year-old understands over 20,000 English words. A five-year-old child adopted from another country would need to learn an average of 54 new words every day in order to fully catch up in language comprehension abilities by age six. If the catch up time-frame is stretched out to two years, the adopted five year-old would still need to learn an average of 27 new words every day to fully catch up by age seven. However, while the adopted child has been playing catch-up, his six year-old friends have also added an average of 5,000 words to their vocabulary. By age seven, the typical child understands 25,000 words. In order to fully catch up within a two year window, the adopted five year old needs to learn an average of 34 words per day. In summary, expecting older adopted children to develop proficient English language skills within one or two years of adoption is unrealistic."


In fact, expecting an adopted hearing child, one that is already speaking their native language, to reach the same level as their peers (in their first language development) in five years, given their additional social and emotional delays, caused from their maltreatment/institutionalization in the early years, is also unrealistic. This understanding for hearing adopted children gives us a better idea of how challenging it can be for the adopted deaf child, with little to no language exposure in those crucial early years. Add to the above any additional unknown physical and/or learning disabilities you will not even be aware of until the deaf child is home and the language acquisition and educational challenges can be even greater. 


Of course, there must be language in place in order for education to proceed. Unfortunately, all too often, first language learning and education must occur simultaneously for the deaf adopted child.  There is no research, that even discusses how this impacts the long-term development of the deaf child. I wish there was some way--especially for the older deaf child who has not been exposed to language--to grant them a two year "catch-up" opportunity to begin learning ASL, in the home, in the most natural environment possible, before they are thrust into the formal educational environment.

Navigating the education of a deaf child can easily be compared to
navigating a maze!

 

REST...IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL!

REST! 

This is the path God is leading me down these days.  Before you mistakenly think God has allowed things to happen that have caused me to have to rest, take it easy, slow down, take a breather, be assured my life is very full of His doings now, just as much as the past 6 years and maybe even more than ever. The rest God has been leading me to and what I believe God desires for each of His children to dwell in, experience, internalize, embrace, is His rest...in the midst of it all. 

You know how it is; you hear the same topic preached, taught, and then some how it pops up in your own personal quiet-time through a devotional or scripture or on the radio, repeatedly, over a short period of time.  That’s one of the ways He delights in gaining our attention for either a new revelation from His Word or a reminder of truth He has already revealed to us, previously.  Often, we must be reminded of past-revealed truths, for some reason we simply cannot incorporate them adequately into our daily lives the first time around.

Bible Study Fellowship is studying the Life of Moses this year.  We recently finished Leviticus 25 – 26 where God teaches His people about multiple Sabbath’s.  God, Himself, took a day of “rest” following 6 days of creation, which was the first weekly Sabbath.  As God was about to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land, He established the 1^st year as a yearlong Sabbath for the land.  Imagine, no planting, tending crops or harvesting that first year in the Promised Land.  Would there be enough to eat?  Where would they get their food?  From then on they were to observe a 7^th year Sabbath for the land.  The land was to rest every 7^th year, planting was to begin again in the 8^th year. In the 6^th year, God promised to provide harvest enough that year, for the 7^th year and until the crops were ready to be harvested in the 8^th year.  A double and a half harvest in the 6th year.  That would roughly be two and a half years or 30 months where the Israelites rested and trusted God to provide.  Basically, God made sure the Israelites were given the greatest environment and opportunity to trust Him and His promises to care for them AND to keep their focus on Him AND be thankful for all He had done and was doing for them. They were to rest physically from their labor of planting, tending their crops and harvesting and they were to rest in the fact that God would faithfully provide for their every need of food, while they were resting. So what would they fill their free-time with each day?  Obviously, they would be forced to think on Him, worship Him, each and every day as their entire daily-routine of planting, tending and harvesting ceased during this time. 

Of course, this was a new generation which had spent the last 40 years wandering in the wilderness.  There was no planting, tending or harvesting during those years. God had already been providing for their every need for food and water, how was this any different? I am sure the temptation to plant was there, they wanted more than the manna God had graciously provided. His provision was not enough for the Israelites, they wanted more and bigger variety.  Sadly, this sounds all too familiar.  

 

Can you and I even imagine what this kind of faith and/or rest is really like?  I dare say, only if God allows certain things to happen in our lives that will force us to depend on Him fully.

You and I do realize, the meaning of the word worship is not just singing hymns or songs of praise when we gather corporately to do so?  It is not just praying.  It is not just reciting scriptures or praying corporately together.  It is not just hearing the Word of God proclaimed. It is not just receiving Holy Communion or the Lord's Supper.  While it can be any and all of these, worship is much more.  At the same time while any and all of these are taking place, it can be without one drop of true worship ever taking place.  True worship happens each and every time you and I encounter Yahweh, the GREAT I AM.  It is when we are confronted with His character and His actions and that encounter forces us to pause to consider, to contemplate, to be humbled in His presence. That, brothers and sisters, is worship!  We do not go to church to be in God's presence.  Many people attend church and are never present with God.  God is present in you and in me every moment of every day!  He lives in us!  We LIVE in His presence every moment of everyday!  

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. (Colossians 1:27)But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of Him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome Him, in whom He dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God’s terms. (Romans 8:8-9, MSG)
The Israelites did not experience that kind of God's presence.  He did not indwell them 24/7.  How much more should you and I be experiencing worship, on a daily basis, since God Himself is LIVING in us?  

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:1-2

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. John 4:23

Sunday, the sermon topic…“REST”.  It was shared you and I most often think of rest much different than our God.  We tend to think “rest” is when we cease doing whatever “work” we do, for a time of personal pleasure or vacation.  Yes, I guess that was the partial focus of the weekly Sabbath in the Old Testament, break from work, however, the main purpose was for worship. This 7^th day Sabbath, was set to prod the Israelites into spending time thinking, contemplating, meditating on God, for all He had done and does.  Unfortunately, that eventually became nothing more than a legalistic free-for-all forcing duty without devotion. God’s original design for the Sabbath was to provide the best possible environment to create a mindset of the “worth-ship” of God.   If there is an intentional, conscious effort to keep our thoughts focused on Him, then the end result will always be, WOR(TH)SHIP!

Our worship of God is what ushers us into His-rest...in the midst of it all!

In Hebrews, the writer speaks of God’s “rest” for the believer as if it is an act of faith.  He refers to the rebellious Israelites not entering God’s rest, in the Old Testament, referring to the Promised Land. Their lack of faith prevented them from experiencing the “rest” God promised them.  While I believe “rest” refers to our salvation in some respects and the “rest” we will experience in heaven, I also believe the “rest” God provides is one in which we can live out in our daily lives.  All to often, our lack of faith prevents us from experiencing this promised blessing from God, fully, in the here and now.  Jesus, Himself…is our rest!

While you and I know the right words to say and to pray, I wonder, do our lives scream unbelief to those around us?  Or does it exude His-rest that only He can provide in the midst of our chaos?

While I so desire to enter that final-rest God has promised for those who do His will, I also desire to experience that daily-rest only total surrender to Him grants, in the here and now!   Will you join me?

You will keep the mind that is dependent on You 

in perfect peace, 

for it is trusting in You. 

 Isaiah 26:3

 

"So You Want to Adopt a Deaf Child?' Part 11 of...

This blog-post, 11th in the ongoing series, "So You Want to Adopt a Deaf Child?", is written specifically for those hearing parents who are contemplating the adoption of an older deaf/HOH child who is already using sign language as their mode of communication and for agencies that are "advocating" for their adoption. 

DON'T DO IT !

A heart-wrenching plea with a precious picture or video-link comes across your email or through a group feed.

"AGING OUT"!  SOON IT WILL BE TOO LATE! 

It's a boy or girl, age 12 or 13, and they are deaf/HOH.  They attend a school for the Deaf, which focuses on sign language not oral communication (speaking, lip-reading). 

You know a little bit of sign language because when you were a teenager you learned it at church to sign with a song.  No one else in your family knows any sign language...but they could learn. Your thinking, "Maybe, our family is God's answer for this Deaf child about to "age-out". I have always loved sign language and always wanted to learn it. Maybe this is why God gave me a love for sign language." 

OR

NOT!  

First of all, when adopting an older child, deaf or hearing, you must be realistic about the challenges your entire family will face simply because they are "older".

Before I move on to specifics concerning the adoption of an older deaf/HOH child who is already sign language fluent, allow me to deviate from my topic, for a bit. 

Trauma is no respecter of age.  A 6 month old child, abandoned to institutionalized care for any length of time will have "trauma" to deal with.  The adoption of a "young" child is no guarantee of a "happily-ever-after story".  The trauma-brain (a brain that is impacted by trauma, even in utero/pregnancy) is one that will need the right amount of structure and nurture to overcome the negative affects that trauma has caused on the brains' development.  I'm not talking about the ability of the brain to be educated, however that is also impacted, but I am talking about the inability a trauma-brain child has to think logically and therefore is evidenced in defiant behaviors of many kinds.  Truly, the trauma-brain is the brain that is controlled by...fear. Fight. Flight. Freeze.

Now, allow me to mention some additional challenges that often come with adopting an older child that are often never considered. The most obvious is the physical "size" of the older adopted child. With "older" comes bigger and stronger, physically.  Restraint, becomes more challenging.  Tantrums and meltdowns are bigger and bad-er.  Violence and/or destruction of property is more damaging. The expectations placed on an older child are greater, even though their trauma-brain holds them captive emotionally, socially, and often academically, to half their chronological age and often younger. This means the adopted 8 or 9 year old child will only be functioning emotionally, socially, and with every other behavior at a 4.5 year old age-level or below. 

That is hard to comprehend, especially when they live in a 8 or 9 year old body and that is what is "seen". What cannot be seen is the brain that has been stunted in it's growth, since even before birth. Self-preservation has become "their job" from a very young age, therefore manipulation has become their greatest skill. This is not proof they are simply being defiant, but it is proof their trauma-brains need great care to begin to grow beyond that of manipulation for self-preservation to one of trust and felt-safety. 
In addition, their experience of the world is locked in infancy.  They have no idea what danger, in the outside world, is and do not instinctively know when they are in danger.  They do not know if they run into the street they could be killed by an oncoming car nor do they know fire can burn them.  Unless that was an abuse they endured.  No explanation is adequate for them to comprehend these dangers.  These must be taught, in the same way as they are taught to toddlers.  Sometimes they are learned better by natural consequences. These children have had no one to teach them these things and many have rarely been outside their orphanage or school. This seems to be even more common for deaf children, with limited to no language, as they are often held out of school and events because their behavior is so unpredictable without the ability to communicate basic needs. Imagine trying to force a 8 or 9 year old to hold your hand for safety, when everything in them resists.

Why would anyone, in their right-mind, adopt an older child?  Because God calls them to do so. Yes, much preparation and training is needed in advance, and the resources for doing that are much greater today, than ever before.  God equips those He calls, but commitment to receiving and perseverance for that equipping is vital.

Trust-based Relational Interventions (TBRI) works miracles with children from the "hard places", but simply reading a book, like The Connected Child and trying only a few of these tools, briefly, will not produce lasting impact.  The outcomes parents desire to attain, brought about by a heart change accessed by a brain that feels safe, will require them to be mindful of their own behaviors and why they behave the way they do. Recognizing their own need for a heart change will grant parents the ability to begin to meet the great needs of their child(ren), adopted and biological.  AND it will require a paradigm shift in parents' old way of thinking relating to raising a child, which most often employs behavior modification, a system designed to control behaviors based on rewards and punishments.  However, reaching a child's heart is based on a relationship built on mutual trust in an environment of balanced structure and nurture that produces a heart that desires to behave, not one that is forced. Once parents understand their God given responsibility is to parent their child's heart, not their behaviors, life-changing behaviors can occur for both parents and children. The National Center for Biblical Parenting offers a vast library of resources for families desiring to utilize the relational-approach to parenting, one designed by God.



Back to the topic of this blog-post. 

For the older Deaf child, if you are not already ASL-fluent and immersed in the Deaf community, with an acceptable Deaf school nearby (which also provides a broader base for a larger Deaf community in your area), please do not even consider adopting an older Deaf child who is sign language fluent.  This, almost assuredly, is a recipe for disaster for everyone. 

So, what hope do older Deaf children who are already fluent in sign language have? 

They have you!  Your willingness to advocate for them to grant them the great opportunity to be adopted by a family who is already ASL-fluent and possibly even better...to be adopted by a Deaf dad and mom who can often identify with them far better than a hearing mom and dad ever will. 

I suspect the percentage of deaf children who are adopted by Deaf parents is less than 15%, maybe less than 10%.  Why is that?  While we want to believe we have surpassed the stigma deafness brings with it, many hearing people mistakenly believe the Deaf are ill-equipped to parent a child, adequately.  In addition, many Deaf couples have stories of being rejected by adoption agencies, simply because they are unwilling to devote the extra time and money to provide adequate communication for them for homestudies, meetings and pre-adoption training via ASL. Misunderstandings of the cultural differences between the hearing agency personnel and the Deaf parents, unfortunately, are also reason for rejections, as well.  These stories of rejection, permeate the Deaf Community.  And finally, the cost of adoption for the Deaf population, which is under paid and under-employed has long been an insurmountable obstacle felt by many.  

Will you advocate for qualified Deaf parents to be given the great opportunity to adopt deaf children?

Sign language fluency can come within a few years of daily exposure, for Deaf children immersed in the language. That means an 8 or 9-yr old who has been attending a school for the Deaf, that utilizes sign language--not all of them do--for roughly two years, is quite possibly already fluent or well on their way.  In addition, they have now been exposed to the Deaf community which is vastly different from their indigenous hearing community and certainly from the American hearing community. 

Deeper aspects of the culture of Deaf people will be shared in future posts.

Why is it a deaf child can often become sign language fluent in such a short amount of time, as compared to a hearing person? 

Deaf children who have been waiting for years to be given the opportunity to begin to communicate with those around them, God has wired our brains to crave communication, often become sponges when their world is turned upside down with language...visual language.  Finally, something they can visually understand without the need to hear or speak. 

Us hearing folks...well, we can hear and that supersedes our "need" to communicate via sign language. Ultimately, the "need" for the deaf child to learn sign language, their first language, is far greater than the need for you and me, hearing folks, to learn a 2nd language that does not enter our brains via the ears. Let's face it, you and I respond to noise automatically and instantly, that is natural for us.  For those who live with deafness, they respond automatically and instantly, to what they see, that is natural for them. 

If you or your adoption agency do not know what the Deaf child, you are considering for adoption, is currently receiving at their deaf school, find out.  Deaf schools in China and in Eastern Europe often never use sign language and only focus on teaching the deaf children to speak and read lips.  Other countries are not so focused. For some deaf children who are learning a sign language, some SWI's (Social Welfare Institutions), in China, think it will be better if they tell you the deaf child is learning to speak, when in fact they do use sign language to communicate.  Their thinking...a family will be more likely to adopt them if they can "speak".  It's the age-old myth that if a Deaf child can "speak" then they are not mentally deficient and will be more adoptable. Other times, the Deaf child does use sign language for their mode of communication and that is vitally important to know, to know how to best advocate for them and their needs.

Deaf children cannot speak because they cannot hear the sounds to learn to speak, not because their brains cannot function at a certain level. Albeit, there are those deaf children who do have additional challenges, in addition to their deafness, but deafness, alone, is not an indication of being mentally challenged. Language deprived deaf children, however, will have additional challenges to overcome, mentally, socially, emotionally and academically. Check out Part 5, in this ongoing series, "Why Is The Deaf Child So Far Behind?"

Non ASL-fluent families who do adopt older Deaf children who are already sign language fluent and adoption agencies who allow them to do this are sewing seeds for consequences they will not want the responsibility to bear. Disruption/dissolution is not uncommon and the collateral damage on all involved is great. 

Remember those who are deaf/HOH often cannot learn to speak a spoken language clearly enough, simply because they cannot hear adequately enough for their brain to allow them to learn spoken language accurately.  This is not an option for them.  On the other hand, every hearing person, on this planet, can learn sign language, IF they are willing.  Yes, it takes time and commitment but they CAN learn it.  It IS an option, for them.  It is not a question of are the deaf willing to learn, but one of "can" they learn since they cannot hear adequately?  Some can and do learn to speak fairly plainly, but most cannot, even with hearing aids and/or Cochlear Implants. 

It is not deafness that separates the hearing from the deaf, it is the inability to speak clearly that separates them from us.  We cannot "see" their deafness, but we can "see" abnormal speech and because we are naturally hearing...that "screams" at us. Adequate speech for speaking, for the d/Deaf person, does not mean there is adequate hearing in every situation of life to allow for smooth communication in speech.  
 
If you are told by your adoption agency, or any others for that matter, the Cochlear Implant will easily make your deaf child hearing and "normal" in every way, be wary.  That is just not true.  Do your own research.  The Cochlear Implant is covered more in depth, in Part 6, The Adopted Deaf Child and the Cochlear Implant. 

I hear stories all too often and so do others, of eager hearing families who will "rescue" their Deaf son or daughter from their peril, before it's too late.  Too often, when hearing parents, maybe well prepared for raising a child from the "hard places", but who are clueless about the Deaf culture and know too little sign language, bring their son/daughter home...all hell breaks loose and hearing family members are shell-shocked. "How could this happen?" Or the Deaf child withdraws, which in the end can be even worse than those who are openly violent.

This is not just because this is an older child adoption, while that will certainly be a significant part of it, add to that the Deaf child's frustration with the inability to communicate in the same mode of communication as they have known and loved...a manual (on the hands and body) language, not dependent on the ability to hear.    

There are those who recommend the use of "translation technology" when adopting children who are post-lingual (those who have already learned spoken language) from another culture where English is not used, especially in those first crucial weeks. This is used as a "bridge" for a short time, to help the transition be a little less stressful for the adopted child. Be aware this technology is far from perfect and many misunderstandings are experienced.


Translation technology has also been used to facilitate communication between hearing parents who do not know sign and their deaf children who do know some written Mandarin or other written language.  Deaf children who are fluent in sign are often taught to read and write in Mandarin, as well.  While there are benefits to this kind of communication in the first few weeks and maybe months, relying on this for prolonged time is not recommended. This in no way will provide a strong foundation between hearing family members and their deaf son/daughter.  We all know how technology has restricted and negatively impacted the next generation in their ability to develop strong social relationships with one another.  One can only imagine how limiting this mode of unnatural communication will negatively impact a recently adopted sign language fluent Deaf child if it is allowed to continue beyond a few weeks or maybe a few months.  I do not believe you and I can begin to imagine the disappointment and frustration an adopted Deaf child, fluent in sign, would experience when their adoptive hearing parents and family members are unwilling to learn to communicate with them face-to-face directly in sign.
 
The adoption of an older child, brings with it more than enough trauma for a lifetime.  Add to that the inability to identify and bond with parents through a shared language utilizing the same mode of communication...either spoken language for hearing children or manual language for Deaf children. That has been labeled by some, as...child abuse.


Then, there is another deeper issue to be addressed here, as well.  That is one of culture. Once deaf children have learned a signed language, they will naturally be drawn to those who can communicate with them easily and can identify with them deeply...those just like them.  This is often hard for hearing family members to understand and to accept, especially when they themselves have not become fluent in ASL.  Many hearing family members will live in denial of this fact and when reality sets in are heart broken by their Deaf children's allegiance to and desire to spend most of their time with those who "know" them best.  As stated above, future posts will share more details surrounding the Deaf culture, which is vastly different from the counter, hearing culture. 



Another thing to keep in mind.  If you are not already ASL-fluent when you bring your deaf son or daughter home, be aware it will take as long as 6 years, maybe longer, for you to become fluent. And that requires spending much time devoted to doing so on a weekly basis and not just from a book or classroom, but interacting WITH the Deaf community, regularly.  My definition of ASL-fluent...you are comfortable carrying on an in-depth conversation with every native Deaf signer you encounter, one-on-one.  For me, that was about 6 years and this included constant classroom participation with Deaf teachers and multiple days a week interacting with the Deaf in my community.

One thing to keep in mind, IF you adopt a 12 or 13 year old they turn 18 in just 5 or 6 short years. 


To gain a better  perspective, try to envision what it might be like for a hearing child, age 5 - 6 yrs. old or older, already fluent in his/her native spoken language, to be adopted by an all Deaf and fully signing family, with extended family members who are also Deaf and sign, and from another country/culture.  This hearing child, fluent in spoken language, would have little to no exposure to those who speak a language.  Wait a minute!  Would an all Deaf family be granted the ability to even adopt a hearing child who is fluent in spoken language?  Some would say...that's child abuse. 

 
While this is not a perfect comparison it does help us gain perspective.  The great advantage of a signed language, as opposed to spoken, is it's visual qualities that can lend itself to providing comprehension/communication without a single spoken word.

This video shows how the lives of deaf children can look when they are impacted by sign language at an early age.  Sadly, most deaf children, here in America, and around the world never receive this kind of vital input, as less than 10% of hearing parents ever learn to sign with them.